Showing posts with label five months postpartum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label five months postpartum. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Dealing with Baby Weight...
Bear with me while I rant about my weight...Or, skip to the bottom of the page for some humor.
I have been keeping track of my postpartum progress including the physical, mental/emotional aspects, and I seem to be improving everywhere except for the weight loss category. I am five months postpartum and something has got to give! My pregnancy weight gain was only 20 pounds, and while that isn't much, I haven't lost a single pound of it. About 1-week after giving birth I had lost half the weight and felt great. I was even doing yoga and taking walks around the neighborhood. Five weeks after giving birth though, I had gained all the pregnancy weight back. I am completely baffled by it! Why on earth am I still the same weight as I was at 9-months pregnant?! I guess I'll blame it on hormones, stress, less sleep...etc?
People like to say, "don't be so hard on yourself, you just had a baby", or "the weight will come off, just give it time", or "it took 9-months to put the weight on so it will take 9-months for it to come off". While I appreciate people being positive and supportive, those comments don't help. Instead, why don't you tell me about a great workout program, or a diet pill that works, maybe give me some healthy recipes to try, heck- why don't you just cook me a healthy meal? Unfortunately, those things are not happening, so it is in my hands to deal with this.
I am tired of not fitting into any of my clothes, I am tired of aches and pains most likely caused by extra weight that my body is not used to, and I am tired of feeling bad about my body. Before I got pregnant I loved my body, even the flaws. In fact, I really didn't care that much about how I looked. I felt good, and my clothes fit, so I was happy with my body. End of story. Now though, I am having body image feelings that I haven't had before! These are feelings that I can't turn off. I know that I grew a whole human and then pushed her out, but somehow in my head that doesn't justify the body that I currently have. It isn't so much the lumps and bumps that bother me, but the size that I am. It is a size I have never been and I don't like it! And my breasts...don't even get me started. I fear I may never see perky breasts again!
So now that I have gotten all my whining out of the way, here's what I am going to do about it. I am going to lose the weight! Maybe it will take me all of the 9-months, maybe it won't. I am tired of sitting on the sidelines "being a mom" and waiting for my body to go back to normal. This blog post is a motivation for me to get to work on losing the baby weight. It is my hope that by you reading it I will be held accountable to lose the weight.
Now for some humor...
A few days ago I went to the gym (go me!) and I jogged(!!) for the first time since having a baby and gaining 20 pounds. Let me tell you, I am not a runner. I struggle to run. I dislike running. However, I was invited to a "run 100 miles this year" group, so I joined and I started. Yikes, it was interesting... Let me just say, my breasts are currently NOT built for running...neither is my butt. I never could have dreamed that I would be one of those women jogging with bouncing boobs practically hitting me in the face. (Is that even possible?) Talk about uncomfortable. I may look into duck taping my bra before the next running attempt. But it wasn't just my boobs, it was my butt too!! Never, NEVER, have I felt my butt cheeks flop around while jogging! It was a strange sensation. At first, I thought it was my t-shirt hitting the backs of my legs. After a few shirt adjustments I quickly realized it was not a wardrobe malfunction, it was MY BUTT CHEEKS flopping around! Can you imagine the horror? No really? Never have I imagined such a sensation! I almost stopped right then and there, just got off the treadmill and walked away pretending like it never happened. -But I didn't! I ran the mile, and then walked a second mile after that.
So all of this to say: I had a baby, my body isn't the same, but I'm going to do something about it. If it takes flopping butt cheeks and bouncing boobs to get there, then so be it.
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Edit: A few months later and I finally found something that worked for losing the baby weight. I feel amazing and have lost 18 pounds, not to mention I am SO much more healthy now. Check out my story here.
Monday, January 4, 2016
5-month Postpartum Truths
Wow, I haven't written a post like this since I was 6-weeks postpartum! I guess I haven't had time. I also haven't had the head-space to organize my thoughts. I have so many postpartum thoughts these days and this post hardly brushes the surface. Shew-whee, where to begin...
5 months ago I gave birth. I have since forgotten the pain, but there is still trauma. I have to admit though, I am more traumatized by being pregnant than giving birth. The birth came and went in 30 meager hours, done. Pregnancy however, seemed like it lasted half of my life! Thank.goodness.that.is.over!! Despite not being pregnant anymore, I am still horrified by the experience. That just goes to show how sick and uncomfortable I was. I am not a fan of surrendering my body to nine months of uncontrollable reactions and growth.
On to somewhat more pleasant things. Hazel, is a doll. No literally she looks like a doll. It's a good thing she is cute, because she definitely tried our patience those first three months. It is one thing to have a new baby and adjust to a different way of life. It's another story altogether to have a baby with colic...or whatever it is that makes them so cranky all the time. Hazel cried nonstop for the first three months. I often found myself crying along with her because I didn't know what else to do. We were/are regulars at the pediatrician's office, everyone knows us by name now because we were there (no-kidding) every other day for the first month, then twice a week after that. Only at month-three did we finally start tapering the visits to every other week. Most of Hazel's problems had to do with "colic", low weight gain, and breastfeeding, but I'll write another post about that later.
With Andy out of town for work most weeks and Hazel's nonstop crying, I was worn pretty ragged those first few months. I survived on showers at 2am, 1-minute breaks sitting on the back porch with the sun in my face, long cries into my coffee, granola bars, and netflix. I tell you, single/solo parenting is HARD. I don't wish it on anyone. If you know a single mom, or one whose husband works long hours (or out of town), help a mama out! I don't mean ask if she wants help, just show up and help. (I'm not gonna lie, I could have used a lot more help...I was just too proud to ask for it.)
So now that we are past the I-have-no-idea-what-I'm-doing-and-my-baby-won't-stop-crying phase, things finally feel good. Hazel is a completely different baby than she was those first few months. She laughs and smiles and we like each other. We are starting to get into some sort of routine and my anxiety about getting out of the house is almost all gone. Life is still challenging and I am often frustrated with my loss of independence (especially when Andy is not around to give me a break), but all in all I feel better about being a mom. It is crazy how much a little human can change your life. I love my child, but I truly don't understand how people can do this over and over again with multiple children. Mad respect to them! One-and-done will be my story. :)
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