I know, what a depressing title, but I couldn't think of anything better. Maybe I am in a funk of a mood, or maybe pregnancy really just isn't for me. I don't know what my issue is, but I am NOT enjoying pregnancy! I feel trapped in my own body.
First trimester was a nightmare what with nausea, vomiting, bloating, cramping and constant exhaustion. After the first few weeks of feeling fine and walking with my head in the clouds feeling both blissfully happy and terribly horrified is when my body stopped being my own. My body was taken over with sensations that I have never experienced before, and while some were not all bad, all were definitely uncomfortable.
Now that I am in the middle of my second trimester you would think that my attitude towards pregnancy has changed, it hasn't. I don't like being out of control of my body, I hate it! While I feel 90% better than I did in my first trimester, I still don't feel normal. My body is not my own. I am gaining weight and breaking out and still feel uncomfortable. I know I am growing life and I should be happy and grateful, but I am struggling to do so. I just want to drink a beer, maybe two or three. I don't want to have limits and rules. I feel delicate, like I have to be careful with myself and watch everything that I do and eat. I hate feeling held down, and this pregnancy is holding me down! My life feels like it is on pause and I just have to wait to give birth to push play again.
Gosh, what a negative post. I am not a negative person, so this is out of the ordinary for me. I refuse to mask my feelings though, this sucks, I am ready to be done with it. That's how I truly feel. I am ready to have my life back. Yet, it isn't my life anymore. My life is forever changed and grappling with that has been more difficult for me than I thought it would be.
|Found this online, not sure where it came from or who said it.