When one is enough

Photo by Robin Skievaski Photography

Last week I had my annual gyn exam. My midwife asked what birth control I was using, and when I said "none" she looked at me surprised and concerned. Then, I proceeded to tell her that my husband had gotten a vasectomy and thus, I did not need any type of birth control. She continued to look at me surprised and concerned, then paused and slowly said, "well, I respect your decision".

"I respect your decision" was the professional thing to say, but it was frustrating for me when that comment was followed by pauses and concerned looks. No one says that when you say you are pregnant again! I am tired of defending this decision that Andy and I have made to not have any more children. Why can't we be happy for people who make responsible decisions?
"So you've decided not to have any children? Congrats, I'm so happy that you know what is right for you."
"So you've decided that one child is enough? How fantastic that you can make that decision and act on it responsibly."

Yes, we only want one child. One child is enough when we still have goals, dreams, and aspirations for ourselves. One child is enough when the trauma of pregnancy, childbirth, and bringing a newborn home is something that you never want to experience again. One child is enough if you've suffered from debilitating postpartum anxiety. One child is enough when you have a great community of like-minded friends who don't judge you for it. One child is enough when you want to be able to offer your child greater opportunities, rather than stretching the finances across multiple children. One child is enough if that is the decision that you want to make.

I am happy with our decision. I have not and will not regret it. Sure, there have been moments holding another persons baby where I think I could do it again, but I have made a decision NOT to do it again, and I am happy to stand by that. Please respect that. Don't judge me, don't feel bad for me, don't feel bad for my child. We chose to have one child, a vasectomy, and made a responsible family planning decision. We should be applauded because we are making decisions and being responsible about it.

Here's to responsible family planning, no matter what that means to you. I applaud you, for whatever decisions that you have made regarding your body and your family. Let us not judge, but be happy for each other!

Year of Rejuvenation!

Many of you know that we have moved AGAIN! Yes, it is true. How many times can one move in a year...apparently a lot. And this time it is to another state. Unfortunately, Andy doesn't have one of those live-in-one-place kind of jobs. He usually travels all over the place for work, which means Hazel, me, and Mr. Buckles (the dog) are left at home doing our own thing, eagerly awaiting his return.

Our move to Maryland is a long story, but hopefully it will mean that we will see more of Andy since the majority of his projects are here in MD. We are also hopeful that this move will only be for 1-year. At which time, we will happily move back to Harrisonburg and Andy will once again work remotely.

A lot of our moves are chosen by us, such as buying a new house, but a lot are also dictated by Andy's job. It is somewhat of a nomadic life, which I used to like, but have just decided that I am over it. Moving with a child and dog multiple times in a year is just draining. Back in our childless days, Andy and I would rock and roll a move! We'd put on some loud tunes, pack up our things, throw them into a truck, and off we'd go. We could be 100% moved in just 24 hours. Now'a'days moving isn't so simple. One of us has to watch the toddler, the dog gets anxiety so we have to pay special attention to him, so only one of us can move things until nap time, then nap time for the toddler is when we crank out the real work (no rest for parents), and so it goes until we are all moved. Shew, it is draining!

In the past year and half Andy and I bought a new (old fixer upper) house, completely renovated it ourselves while living in it and then living with friends, part of the renovation was during my pregnancy, then we brought our new baby home to that house, finished the renovation, bought a different house (a duplex!) in our favorite part of town, lived in one part while we rented the other, worked on updating and maintaining the part we were in, then moved to the other apartment and found new renters, fixed a bunch of things in that apartment and landscaped the backyard...and now we are moved yet again! So while we currently live in a tiny RENTED apartment in Maryland, we own two houses in Virginia, of which we have poured our blood, sweat, and tears into. This was not our original plan...but alas, it is life. And the hope is to get back to our home in Virginia (and houses) in a years time.

So all of that said, we have decided to make this year of living in Maryland a year of rejuvenation. We are planning for it to be a year of cooking fun healthy food, exercising as a family, and enjoying more of the outdoors, all the while living in an apartment and not worrying about renovating a house or doing yard work. (Not to say that we won't maintain our houses as rental properties, we just won't actively work on them.) I'm also making a monthly list of things that I would like to work on during this year of rejuvenation:

October......write more letters
November......meditate every day
December......get better at wine tasting
January......yoga/hot yoga
February......do more drawing/art
March......learn new recipes
April......exercise outside every day
May......hike a new trail every weekend
June......go to bed early
July......photograph something every day
August......no sugar
September......drink 10 glasses of water a day

May it be a healthful year of rejuvenation in Maryland!