Thursday, December 13, 2012
Marriage, taking his name...
The pharmacy lady entered the new insurance info into the computer and came back to let me know that she had also gone ahead and changed my last name. What?! So I told her, "no that's incorrect we have different last names". So she drilled me.
"Well are you married?"
"But you have a different last name?"
"Yes. I never changed my name."
"And you are sure that you are on his insurance?"
"Yes, I can call my husband if you'd like me to."
"Hmm, well I think you have to use his last name to be on his insurance."
"What?! No, I'm sure I don't."
"Let me go call the insurance company."
"Yes, please do. They will have my name on file."
All the while I'm furious thinking this whole interaction is ridiculous. Since when does a woman have to take her husbands name just for the sake of being on his insurance?
The lady was gone for a while. Finally she comes back and rings up the total for my birth control. She says nothing about the insurance. When I inquire about it she says, "Oh yeah, you're fine."
How frustrating! Andy and I never decided not to change our names it just kind of happened. When we looked into changing our names after getting married it seemed like too much of a hassle so we never did it. (DC laws for changing your name are extensive and ridiculous.) Since then, I have been very happy that I kept my own last name. I am an independent woman despite being married therefore I have my own name. I wear a wedding ring and hold strong to my marriage vows, so there is no need to share his name as well. This is how I view it, but sometimes I feel judged for keeping my last name. I'm sure there will come many more times when this is an issue, I just have to remember to hold strong. Nowhere does it say a woman must take her husbands last name, so it's not a crime.
How do you feel about this? Did you take your husbands last name, or keep your own. Why?