Pregnancy Body...aka dreaded weight gain

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Gaining weight in pregnancy is like watching a train wreck. You can see that it is going to happen, then it happens right in front of you, and you are forced to watch it while not being able to do a thing about it. That is precisely how I am feeling about my body these days.

First of all, I should start with yes, yes, I know my body is doing an amazing thing by growing a human being from scratch...but I'm tired of being polite. Creating a baby is an amazing feat, and while my body is totally capable of it, I also feel like it is wrecking me. So there's that. I put the generic "my body is capable" out there and now I am going to tell you how I really feel.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Pregnancy is not for me, I hate it. If I sound like a broken record that's probably because I am. First it was the cramps, then morning sickness, then heartburn...and now it's weight gain. I knew I was going to gain weight, duh I'm growing a baby, but I didn't know that it would make me feel so helpless, discouraged, and frustrated.

I have been healthy and conscious of my weight since high school. While I was a skinny mini in high school and didn't have anything to worry about, I still ate healthy and exercised. In college I grew some little hips and boobs. This was eye opening to me and I began to work out a little more. Since college, I have had fairly healthy habits of eating healthy, exercising, and being conscious of my weight. I am not obsessive, just healthy and really quite average.

For most of my pregnancy I have had little to no weight gain until about a month ago. When I hit month-6 of pregnancy I gained 5 pounds in one week. That started it off. Since then, the weight gain has been steady and it scares the crap out of me. I know it is inevitable that I'll gain weight because my baby needs to grow and become healthy, but at the same time I can't help but dread it. I have never been this heavy in my life! My boobs have gone from A-cup to D-cup and my hips are covered in stretch marks...just in time for bathing suit season too. Oh the horror!

So like I've said, pregnancy weight gain is like watching a train wreck. I am in the midst of the wreck right now and I can't help but feel helpless. Each time I get dressed, a feeling of dread comes over me. I try so hard to enjoy my baby bump and be happy that I my body is creating life, but instead I feel like a fat cow that needs to be put to pasture until this baby comes. There is no fix for this weight gain, it is happening whether I like it or not. All I can think is that at least I get a little baby at the end of it all. (And then I'll work my ass off to get back to my old body so I never have to feel this way again!!!)