Check it out, today on this sunny September Friday I am turning 29 years old. 29 is a year that I have never thought about until now. Usually birthdays come and go and I don't give them much thought. The birthdays that I have actually thought about were 20, 24, and 28.
On my 20th birthday I thought 'wow, look at me, I am 20 whole years old'. I felt old, important, and queen of the world. I was a freshman in college and wanting to experience everything. As a 20 year old I was fearless, independent, and outgoing.
When I turned 24 I was living in Seoul, South Korea. Most of my friends were either in their late 20s or early 30s, so 24 was a somewhat disappointing age for me. I distinctly remember thinking, 'really, am I only 24?...I should be at least 28 by now'. I felt far older than my measly 24 years and was desperately wanting to be ahead of my time. Looking back I think to myself, how could I have thought that?! Despite my disappointment in age, it was a great birthday. I wore flowers in my hair and hot pink. My expat friends and a few Korean friends met me at a nice restaurant for Italian food. We laughed, joked, drank, and they sang happy birthday to me in their loudest voices. I loved it!
28 (last year) was also a memorable birthday for me. For some reason 28 has always been the age in my head in which I become a true adult, a real woman. So when I woke up on my 28th birthday I rolled over, looked at Andy and said, 'today I become a real woman'. He laughed and laughed because he had no idea why I said it. He still chuckles about it when it is brought up. Really though, I felt like a real, legit woman. At the age of 28 I felt like I could officially have a baby and be ok with it. I was also running my own business and felt like I was finally making my way in life.
Now I am 29. I have never been scared of turning 30 until now. When I sit down and think about it (which I probably shouldn't do), I have a million thoughts that run through my head. Like:
How did I get to the end of my 20s so fast?
What can I do in my last year of being 20 that will be monumental?
Did I do enough in my 20s?
What else should I do before I turn 30?
How should a 29 year old woman act?
Do I act my age?...I feel immature for 29.
Should I have a baby, would that be the right thing to do?
Am I getting too old to have children?
Will my ovaries wilt after this year?
And the thoughts continue... So despite my fear of turning 30 next year and outgrowing my raging, fun, outrageous, incredible 20s, I plan on embracing this last year of my 20s. I am going to live it up so that I don't have one single regret about what I didn't do in my 20s. I plan on being old some day and looking back at my 20s with fond, adventurous memories.
Look out world I am 29 and that is a reason to party!!
Realizing as I hit my late twenties that I was getting older much faster than anticipated was surprising, but I loved turning 30. I felt like being 30 was being an age where people automatically had to take me seriously, the same as people who were married or who had kids. You can dismiss someone who's "in her twenties", but you have to listen to someone "in her thirties"! So it hasn't always played out like that, but I look at how much I've grown and all I've learned and experienced over the past decade, and I am sincerely more grateful than anything.ReplyDelete